I am in complete HATE with Bradley in Accounting. I don't even know his last name. All I know is this percolating HATE that sits in my gut. I hate him all the more because everyone else in the office seems to fucking LOVE him though for the life of me I do not understand why. Everywhere he goes he leaves a trail of giggles and candy wrappers because he is fat and looks like Dirk Diggler if Dirk Diggler were made of shit.
Bradley has two jobs. One is in accounting at a large Chicago-based corporation. The second is getting it on with anything female he comes across. He is utter SHITE at his second job. His dick would FIRE him if it could afford to hire anyone else. Sitting here I feel like I'm waiting in line at a Gamestop and the only cashier is female. Watching him game on girls is like watching yourself in 10th grade. I have never seen anyone be in the friendzone deeper than he is. Hey Bradley, here's a sign you should stop: you start conversations by asking how their BOYFRIENDS/HUSBANDS are doing. Game over clown, no girl has EVER fucked a dude after finishing a conversation about how she went to a great wine and cheese party with her boyfriend of three years. Jesus fucking SHIT.
"Why yes, I WOULD like to reserve anythingyouwantmeto."
3) You do theater, I GET IT.
Holy shit Bradley, why don't you regale us some more about rehearsals and shows that you're in. Remember how I said I can't imagine a reason why people here love him? I lied. This is why. He goes on and on about plays and productions and how hard his rehearsal schedule is thus creating some air of fame and glamor around himself. I can't even imagine what production he would be in, Richard The Third can only play so many times a year.
In summary, this is the kind of person who is still using social tricks that he picked up in college. Ladies, remember that one party where you got so wasted and passed out but woke up when someone was trying to kiss you? That was THIS FUCKING GUY. Oh Bradley I HATE you. I hate you so so much.
This guy is an ANIMAL on the John.