Friday, May 13, 2011

People I Love That You Love: The Girl On The Train Who Put Up With Me Today.

Thank you for putting up with me this morning Girl-On-The-Train-Who-Put-Up-With-Me-Today. Thank you for everything.

1. Thank you for sitting next to me.
You were so beautiful this morning. You looked like the uglier little sister of a famous supermodel. When you walked on the train, I thought it was an angel. An angel that couldn't afford a car.

It was still early and you could've sat next to anybody you wanted. The guy in the full three-piece suit? He looked well to do, yea? The girl dressed like a nurse? Same sex seating is safe and comfortable I'm sure. But you chose me, the unkempt guy who is clearly wearing the same fitted shirt he went out drinking in last night.

By doing so you saved me from sitting next to the aging, overweight asian lady or the homeless guy who thinks he's clean enough to escape general notice. (He's not.)

When you humbly motioned at the empty seat next to me I should've scootched in and given you the aisle. Alas, I am an asshole and I merely shifted my legs 90 degrees, forcing you to jacknife yourself into the space between my thigh and the adjacent chair to get to your spot. Your butt came dangerously close to my face. I won't apologize for that. You smelled like a combination of Romance by Ralph Lauren and Tide Colorfast detergent. That was thoughtful of you.

I still have an irrational fear of the homeless. They truly have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

2. Thanks for not making fun of my reading.
To make up for my inexcusable behaviour, I made it a mission to predict what stop was yours and preemptive get up to make your evac easier. Because of this, I was on pins and needles at every stop.

Somewhere around Vermont, I noticed you reaching for your bag; it was action time. I sprang from my seat like a drunk Jack-in-the-Box and, in the process, spilled the contents of my own bag: A sticky note sketch of Commander Shepard from Mass Effect, a copy of the epic magic and fantasy novel Name of the Wind, and a copy of Tina Fey's Bossypants.

Thanks for not making any snide remarks or rolling your eyes, as I would've done to you. I know it's not as cool as Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest but you have to admit, I drew Commander Shepard's abs pretty well.

I gathered all my things, with the Tina Fey book showing out because I considered that to be the 'cooler' one. Was that the right call? Would you have preferred the fantasy novel? I fucked that up didn't I? Man...sorry.

This is the M.E. drawing I wish she DID see.

3. Thanks for talking to me
Like all tragic romances, you and I came to an end.I'll never forget it, it was at the Wilson/Vermont stop (or the Sunset one? Whatever). You longingly looked out the window and then looked at me, your honey blond hair almost bouncing into me, and you said with a sad smile,

"I get off here."

Girl do you have any idea what that comment did to me? I bit back the goofiest shit-eating grin. I bit it back so hard I bled. But you know something? I regret not saying anything to you. So I'll reply here in the dark places of the internet, where dreams go to die:

"I bet you do luv."

"I bet you do."

This is the face I was making when she said that, by the way.